Spud prepares for the Millennia
Spud
spent the week after Xmas 99 scrambling to put the finishing touches on
his survival bunker in preparation for the 'end of the world' the media
has been predicting for year 2000. He finished just in time to throw
on his new hairpiece and formal duds, and race downtown to bring in the
New Year at a posh restaurant. Unfortunately in his haste to collect canned
foods and batteries for his bunker, he completely forgot about making
a reservation. Needless to say, he was refused entry.
Down,
but not beaten, Spud went around to the back of the restaurant to try
to sneak in through the kitchen. Trying not to bring attention to himself,
he masqueraded amongst his russet potato brethren. The tuber was almost
home free when he was grabbed from his hiding spot and thrust onto a ROTATO
potato peeler. The hapless side dish shrieked in pain as plastic sabres
pierced his underside and scalp. As the peeling blade was placed on the
side of his face, Spud resigned to himself that this was the
end - there would be no more travels.
The chef turned the handle of the ROTATO and the blade bit deep into Spud's bandaged scalp. The bandage began to peel off - falling to the counter top. The cook stopped twisting and picked the peel up for inspection. He appeared somewhat revolted by the fact that he had just churned up a nine year old bandage for the night's meal! Disgusted, he ripped Spud free from the ROTATO and tossed him into the trash bin. Traumatized, but alive, the tuber laid low until the garbage was put out into the alley where he was finally able to make his break to safety. Spud wound up celebrating the end of the millennium under anesthetic at a nearby hospital whilst doctors dressed his wounds. If there's a moral to this story - always book ahead for a reservation!