Panic
Stations!
How could Spud possibly have gotten himself married?
Without a minute to lose, he sprung from his matrimonial bed and into his shoes. Whilst he struggled to pack his head with the remnants of his clothes and a few casino chips, he noticed his new wife's handbag with it's contents strewn across the floor. The carbohydrate was startled to find countless photos of himself on other travels. It turns out that Beatrice Twice-Baked had been stalking him for months - Spud had been set up!!
The tuber was speechless as he stared back at the sleeping potato who was sporting a big toothy grin. Oh how he wanted to rip those teeth out...
There was no time to waste! Without missing a beat, the tuber whisked out of the hotel room and into a taxi cab bound for the county courthouse. He had to get the marriage annulled!
After a three hour wait and filling out reams of paperwork, Spud was finally able to ply his case to the judge. The tater desperately pleaded his story citing the fact that he had been stalked. The judge looked back at Spud with distaste and asked 'Why did you marry her then? Haven't you got a brain in your head?' Spud sheepishly cowered and then opened the compartment in the back of his head to reveal that it was completely empty. 'Oh...' the judge remarked as he choked down his words.
Unfortunately, there wasn't sufficient evidence to grant an annulment as the ceremony had been performed and a license had been produced. Spud was completely distraught as he left the courthouse.
At the foot of the courthouse steps, the tater noticed a couple of police officers escorting Elvis out of the back of their cruiser. Spud ran over and started shouting expletives at the King for his hand in the potato's predicament. One of the officers accosted Spud and held him at bay while the other took the rock legend into the courthouse. It would appear that the King was being detained for bouncing checks at a sequin factory in Mobile, Alabama.
Spud rushed back into the hallowed halls of the courts where he enlightened the judge that the ceremony had been performed by a felon. Upon further investigation, it would turn out that Elvis wasn't Elvis after all - in fact his name was Otis and he was a pipefitter from Brooklyn...and most importantly, he was not a licensed marriage commissioner. With these new facts, the judge granted Spud the annulment and he was set free from his marital hell.
There was still no time to waste. Spud caught the next plane out of Vega$ leaving behind the horn-rimmed stalker. Finally, he was free again!
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