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The Aliens led Spud over a rocky outcropping where an intense glow emanated from the crags below. The ethereal glow turned out to be a large spacecraft which emitted a series of musical notes, the likes of which Spud had only heard in campy B scifi movies. The potato was taken inside the mouth of the great mothership where he saw hundreds of people all being tested and probed by an army of little green extraterrestrials. Some humans were being weighed and measured, others were being scanned to analyze brain activity, still others were having blood drawn and tested. Still trapped inside his own mind and unable to control his body, Spud watched as the aliens began their testing on him. One of the space creatures prepared a large needle and jabbed it into the potato's side in an effort to draw blood. When the being pulled back on the syringe, it was surprised to find that Spuds' blood was not red like all the others - instead it was brown with a thick consistency. Little did they know that it wasn't blood at all, it was gravy. Intrigued and elated with this unique discovery, the creature called over a number of the other little green scientists to share his findings.
The alien beings continued their tests on Spud with growing interest and anticipation. The lead alien pulled on Spud's arm and was astonished to find it easily popped out of its socket. Equally astonishing was the fact that it could be reattached elsewhere on the potato's body, such as where his ears or nose would be. The extraterrestrials were amazed at the versatility and complexity of this tuberous organism as it was so different from the human subjects they had tested. A large group of the outerwordly visitors had gathered around the potato and began making plans to take Spud back to their home planet for dissection and further study. As the aliens prepared for departure, Spud began to awake from his trance and could feel sensation returning to his appendages. The mothership began to hum intensely and Spud could feel its engines spark to life. He had to act quickly or his days on earth would be over. One of his green captors flicked a control switch and the ship's ramp began to close. Seizing his one and only opportunity, Spud leapt for the opening; crashing onto the ground beneath the spacecraft. The aliens could not afford to lose their prized subject and feverishly gave chase, arming themselves with laser immobilizers. The tater ran for the dense woods as one of the bulbous-headed beings blasted his laser. Spud tossed on his aluminum foil just in time to deflect the rays back at his abductor, freezing him in his tracks and allowing the potato to disappear into the thicket. Spud had narrowly escaped the clutches of the aliens this time...hopefully there won't be a next time.... |
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