Undercover
in Soho
One day while Spud was sitting back enjoying
a stock car race on television, he received an urgent page from Interpol
on his pager; the message calling for the tater's assistance at Scotland
Yard in London. Always eager to
help his brethren overseas (not to mention take advantage of a free trip),
Spud hopped the next plane to Britain's
capital to meet with the Chief Inspector.
Spud
would learn that a suspected terrorist had landed in London and they needed
to know what the heathen was planning. Infiltrating the underworld would
have to be done discreetly, so the tater would have to go deep, deep undercover.
The tuber discovered that the man he was tracking was last seen in London's
Soho district; frequenting the voyeuristic houses of bondage that litter
the area. In order to avoid drawing attention to himself, the tater had
to fit in with the local patrons. Sporting his pierced
tongue and tattoo, this would not be much of a stretch; the only missing
item was a mohawk. A really sharp razor and two cans of hairspray later
he was ready...
Working
on a tip, Spud entered the infamous and notoriously sleezy Raymond Revue
Bar. Inside, the tater melted into the shadows and surveyed the room. Beautiful,
statuesque women strode through the dense clouds of smoke that filled
the tiny enclosed area. Finding himself frequently distracted with the
surrounding scantily clad beauties, Spud pulled out an extra set of eyes
from his rear compartment so as to keep one set looking for his man, while
the others could continue to indulge in the sexy showcase.
After scanning the bar intently for well
over an hour, Spud surmised that the suspect wasn't in the room. Just
before the tater was ready to leave, he decided to check 'backstage' to
see if the dubious fellow had slipped into one of the dressing rooms.
Much to Spud's delight err, dismay, the only
thing he found back there were more of the buxom dancers in various states
of undress.
That is, until the tater entered the last
room and found the suspect sitting at the makeup table, dressed in baby-doll
lingerie and 4 inch stilettos. Spud almost choked on his tongue ring when
he realized that each of these 'beauties' were in fact, men dressed in
drag! It would appear that the only thing this guy was planning
was how he was going to wax his armpits that night!
Spud's screams of terror could be heard for miles as the tater fled the
bar and headed straight for the airport.
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