Spud enlists to fight terrorism
Like the rest of the free world, Spud was shocked to hear of the devastating attacks that occured on September 11, 2001. The tater felt helpless as he stood watching the coverage on CNN of Ground Zero in New York.
For weeks after the event, the tuber made it his mission to look for ways to help out with the relief effort. Unfortunately, his good intentions were unsuccessful. The Red Cross turned him away as he was incapable of giving blood, and even though he signed his donor card and offered replacement appendages, his prosthetics were too small for the recipients.
Saddened at his failing contributions, Spud had a revelation. He would enlist and join in the fight in the War against Terrorism. What better way to contribute then to rid earth of Osama bin Laden and the Taliban on behalf of the free world. Wasting no more time, the potato hastily made his way to the local recruiting office to sign up.
The side dish filled out a pile of paperwork and was subjected to a battery of psychological tests. A few hours later the tuber received his acceptance into the Canadian military. The Army recruiter welcomed Spud with his first orders: Report to the Royal Military College in Kingston, Ontario for basic training.
Shortly after arriving, the recruits were herded to the base's barbers where their heads were shaved into brush-cuts. Spud was singled out of the group though, and told to report to the mess hall. At the cantina he was met by a Captain who ordered Spud to have his tattoo removed. Somewhat distraught to be losing his little devil, Spud knew his country's wishes were more important than his own, and he succumbed. A few swipes from the cook's peeler and the tattoo was nothing more than strips of potato skin in the mess hall sink.
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