After exploring the ruins of Coba, Tikal and Chichen Itza, Spud was entranced by the civilizations of ancient Mesoamerica. So much so, that he set off to find another more remote location to try to unlock even more secrets from a forgotten time. Pouring through his collection of ancient texts, he came across such a place located deep in Mexico. The tater grabbed his passport and a fresh sheet of aluminum foil and off to the airport he sped.
Far away from the hoarding masses of pasty-white disposable camera-toting tourists, aggressive time-share sellers and the teeny bopper Spring Break party meccas that populate the Yucatan's Caribbean coastline, lay the remnants of an ancient powerful city with a strange and mythic past: UXMAL
Located in the southwest corner of the Yucatan Peninsula in a triangular area of low lying hills known as the 'Puuc' (pronounced 'POOK') region, UXMAL (pronounced 'OOSH-MAL') was a major spiritual and educational center of the Maya civilization from the 7th to the 9th century. Spud was sure that one thing they obviously weren't teaching was the 'Hooked on Phonics' method!
Uxmal comprised of 10 major structures of historic significance. It was the centre of government for the area and flourished with a surging population up to its decline at the beginning of the 13th century.
The crown jewel of Uxmal is the 115 foot tall pyramid called "The Temple of the Magician". This structure was highly unusual in Maya architecture as it had an oval design with rounded, perfectly angled edges, as opposed to the precise corners of the Pyramid of Kulkulcan that Spud had seen at Chichen Itza.
According to legend, the Temple of the Magician was built by a Dwarf to celebrate his defeat of the Lord of Uxmal. The Dwarf possessed magical powers and created the grand structure in one night. He must have had magical powers as there was no Home Depot in sight.
The Dwarf ruled over the people of the Puuc region for many years before resigning his position to take the role of Tattoo in TV's 'Fantasy Island'.
As Spud continued to explore the great complex of Uxmal, he noticed countless stones that appeared to be in the shape of male 'members'. Checking his guide book, it stated that these were a common symbol of the fertility of the people and of the earth, but Spud learned that was nothing more than a phallusy. These rock solid johnsons were testament to how advanced the Maya were; having developed Viagra well over 1000 years prior to the Pfizer Corporation.