- the Motor City
Spud was concerned
about the growing miles he was putting on his Ferrarri Tuberrosa. He
had taken his trusty hot rod on many travels over the years and was
worried that this additional wear and tear might affect his car's racing
performance. Finally, after landing a gig flogging snack crackers called
'Spuds', the tater collected his pay and made his decision to go out
and buy another vehicle. Always one to make sure he stood out from the
other potatoes, Spud opted for a 5 litre, nitro burning, Mustang Cobra
As these cars (especially
in Spud's size) are in very limited production, Spud made a trip to
Detroit, home of the World Headquarters of Ford Motor Company, in May
of 2002 to pick it up.
Detroit is known
by many names. Since this is a PG site, I'll won't refer to the predominantly
offensive ones. The most familiar moniker is 'the Motor City' - as the
area is the base of the three largest Car companies in North America:
Ford, General Motors and Daimler Chrysler. Detroit was no doubt chosen
by 'the big three' as it is an ideal location to design and test automobiles
since the road system is a natural proving ground - in fact, each of
the city's roads have more craters than a teenager's face with rampant
to avoid turning his new suspension into hamburger, Spud slowly crept
around town in his new wheels. Apparently, the city's Tourist and Convention
bureau had petitioned the mayor's office to avoid repairing any of the
perforated road surfaces as it forces to keep visitors in town longer.
I guess experiencing the giant mushroom cloud of carbon monoxide emissions
just doesn't draw the crowds the city once had.
While he was in
town, Spud decided to take an opportunity to visit one of the city's
many automotive museums. The potato had always wondered why North American
car parts only seem to last 3 years while their foreign counterparts
last so much longer, and thought the Henry
Ford museum might house the answer.
Inside the mammoth
complex, Spud found hundreds of cars and trucks from throughout the
years. There were Model Ts, classic roadsters, muscle cars, luxury sedans,
prototypes, ... each wonders of American engineering and all having
one thing in common - much more reliable after-market parts.
There were also
some important historic vehicles on display in the collection - most
notably, the 1963 presidential limo in which U.S. President John F.
Kennedy was assassinated. As intriguing as this car was, Spud was more
transfixed by the museum's most prized possession: the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile.
in its design, the large, orange phallic-symbol-on-a-bun paved the way
for crack smoking auto designers to produce such gems as the Pacer,
the Gremlin and the Pontiac Aztek. Always one to capture these symbols
of greatness, Spud coughed up a dollar so that he could create his own
plastic souvenir of the Weinermobile using the Mold-A-Rama. Rumour has
it that Ford employs a larger version of the same machine to cast the
bodies of its 2002 product line.
for Spud's tour of the state!