The
English Countryside
After visiting London,
Spud made his way to the University town of Oxford. He had written the
entrance exam for this prestigious school in 1987 and even though he passed,
was refused admission because he was a potato. Spud had planned to fight
the ruling in court, but avoided the hassle by getting his education at
the equally revered Hampstead School of Legumes instead.
Spud had spent about 3 weeks in Britain and he still hadn't seen a castle.
That all changed when he hitchhiked his way to the ruins of Kenilworth
Castle. He climbed to the top of the ruin, pulled out his eyes and dreamt
of what the castle was like in medieval times. He could almost hear the
clamouring of knights in armour, charging the castle with sabres in hand;
putting his eyes back in, he realized it was a group of school kids at
the castle for a field trip.
In search of a more secluded fortress far away from any schoolhouse, Spud came upon Prudhoe Castle in northern England. This Norman structure was in far better repair than Kenilworth, leading Spud to think that maybe it was the school kids that had put the castle in ruin.
Exploring in the woods just outside of Prudhoe, Spud came across the torso of a black knight. The warrior was missing both arms and legs and was shouting expletives when Spud startled him. He offered an extra set of arms to the injured man who became offended and violent when presented with the rubber offerings. Fearing for his safety, Spud fled from the crazed lunatic.
The
next stop for Spud was the highlight of his adventure in Britain; a visit
to one of the seven wonders of the world.
The stone circle of Stonehenge was indeed, a true wonder to behold.
Built
approximately 5000 years ago as a place of Neolithic worship, the complexity
in it's 'ball and socket' architecture has marveled the world for centuries.
Spud didn't come to Stonehenge to gaze star struck at the immensity of the site. What compelled him to come to the Salisbury Plain was the Time Life book Mystic Places. A commercial for the book said that a traveler bent a wire in the shape of a celtic cross and pointed it at the stone circle while repeating a ancient ceidlh chant. A charge of electro magnetic energy bolted out from the Altar stone at the circle's centre and electrocuted the man. Being an eternal skeptic, Spud had to try it for himself.
Not knowing any ancient chants, Spud sang a few verses of Danny Boy but nothing happened. Unbeknownst to Spud, plastic does not conduct electricity.