Being an avid mountaineer, Spud had always dreamed of trekking to the great peaks of Northern Pakistan. The country's famed Karakoram mountain range is home to a number of 8000 metre summits including the daunting K2; the world's second highest apex. Now he had his chance...Having saved up enough royalties from video sales of Toy Story 2, Spud bought his plane ticket, packed up his gear and set out for southern Asia.
During the marathon flight from Canada to Karachi, the airline provided food that combined typical North American cuisine with a touch of Pakistani flare. After a plate of chicken cacciatore doused in red chili powder and turmeric, Spud experienced the Pakistani 'flare' soon after when he rushed to the plane's toilet.
After landing in Karachi, the potato was still feeling a bit of intestinal discomfort. He decided to postpone heading North to the mountains and instead decided to spend a lazy day recovering in the bustling market city.
The tuber hopped on a rickshaw and made his way to Karachi's most notable landmark: the gigantic Quaid-I-Azam Mausoleum. This huge domed building was built as a monument to Pakistan's founder, Mohammed Ali Jinnah, who was a crusader for Muslim independence.
Unfortunately, Spud would find the Qur'an (Koran) of Islam dictates that entry is prohibited to all non-Muslims. This was a minor setback though, as the resourceful tater removed a beard and hijab (headpiece) from his rear compartment and put them on. PRESTO - instant Muslim! The potato strolled right in under cover of darkness and thankfully, the locals didn't recognize his ADIDAS running shoes. Spud was quite sure those weren't part of the traditional Islamic clothing.
The next day Spud began his journey to the mountainous region of Pakistan. While flying to the northern town of Skardu, Spud's plane was narrowly missed by a missile that had been fired by Allied ground troops. Suddenly it became readily apparent that Spud had forgotten one minor detail about this area of northern Pakistan...it was in the middle of the war zone between Osama bin Laden and the Allies!
Soon the sky became blackened by flak guns punching holes in the clouds. The plane tossed violently from side to side as the pilot tried to avoid getting tattooed by the incoming warheads. Spud began screaming in terror as blast after blast echoed through the fuselage. The tuber couldn't believe that the rest of the local passengers were rather unphased by the activity. To think that just a few short months before, Spud had enlisted to participate in this very same conflict! He must have been half boiled to want to get involved in this!
Fortunately the plane was able to land in Skardu after having suffered the loss of one primary engine, but the thought of trekking amidst exploding bombshells had lost its appeal. Instead, Spud frantically looked for safe passage back to Karachi or the capital of Islamabad. Opting for the relative security of ground travel, the potato found a car he was able to hire to get him to the city of Lahore.
Shortly after leaving Skardu, the skies began to rain down a new selection of explosive projectiles, these ones coming not from the Allies or the Taliban in Afghanistan, but from Pakistan's other neighbours in India. Obviously, there was not a lot of love in the air these days. Looking to the north, it was only a matter of time before communist China would get annoyed with the noise and no doubt, Iran might want to get in on the action as well. Perhaps this wasn't the most opportune time to be touring Pakistan...
Not quite ready for the fat fryer yet, Spud decided to cut his losses and caught the next flight out to the Western World. It's much safer to visit this area by watching CNN.