Trouble in Times Square
Fresh from getting his tattoo and tongue piercing in Hollywood, Spud thought he'd finish his new look by heading down to the Bronx in New York to get himself a new 'do'. He had always been fond of the 'pineapple look' that's so popular today, that he thought he'd go one better and dye it orange! Feeling like a new tuber, Spud figured he'd head down to Times Square to catch a broadway show.
He was surprised to find that most of the shows were completely sold out. In fact, the only one that had tickets available was for the Lion King - and there was no way he'd be caught dead seeing that one! Feeling somewhat downcast , Spud bought some honey roasted nuts from a street vendor and pondered what to do with the night.
Aside from the theater, there were only restaurants and souvenir stores in Times Square - unlike the good old days when strip bars permeated the area. Eager to find some 'real theater', Spud wandered the midtown streets in search of a gentlemen's club.
While mayor Rudolph Giuliani had succeeded in cleaning up Times Square, there are many 'less pristine' areas still in Manhattan. Fortunately, Spud soon found himself in one of them.
After deciding on a somewhat respectable establishment, Spud headed in to observe the local 'talent'. It was a good thing he stopped at a bank machine before heading in as he planned on spending hours at the stage with dollar bills clenched in his teeth.
The fun was to be short lived though, as soon after he arrived, the NYPD vice squad stormed the club and arrested all of the patrons: including our beloved potato. Slapping handcuffs on the tuber, the policemen herded him into the paddy wagon and off to the precinct for booking.
Spud spent the night in a cell with an intoxicated bum in drag who was bent on singing show tunes. Burying his head in his wafer-thin pillow, Spud tried to block out the incessant crooning.
Two trips he had made since getting his tattoo and body piercing, and two trips to the county lock-up. Coincidence?