in the footsteps of The King
Spud made his return visit to Tennessee in October of 2013. This time Spud had made sure that he would make the pilgrimage to visit 'The King' at his home of Graceland in Memphis
The tater was one of the more subdued fans of Elvis. The potato admired his talent, creativity and energy, but never acquired the obsessive devotion that so many others had. He never collected Elvis plates, didn't own a black light poster from the 68 comeback tour, never bought the gold encrusted TCB sunglasses... Instead he just enjoyed listening to his music. After a certain incident back in Vegas years ago, the tato's love of 'The Pelvis' had sullied somewhat.
Still, it was time to pay his respects, and over $50 later to enter Graceland he most certainly did 'pay'
His visit began with a tour through Elvis' mansion.
As soon as the front doors of the mansion swung open it became clear that The King's garish fashion sense had leaked all over the interior design of his home.
The walls were carpeted in a thick green shag resembling furry strained peas. The carpet continued across the floor into the avocado applianced kitchen. As Spud bushwhacked across the floor he could still see the faint outline of Chef Boy-Ardee Ravioli staining the blades of the forested rug.
The shag finally gave way in the billiard room where bolts of floral fabrics draped over the walls and entire ceiling. For a second Spud thought he was under Wynona Judd's skirt.
Millions of spores and dust mites that had spent decades in the walls soon overcame Spud's ability to breathe so the tater rushed through the Jungle Room and out a door to the backyard in search of fresh air. After spending a few moments to collect himself he made his way to the pool area, where Elvis' gravesite lay.
The headstone was tastefully flanked by fresh flowers. A small semi circular amphitheater surrounded the memorial for visitors to collect and pay their respects. On this day however, it was just the King and Spud.
The tato reflected
on the great performer's short life. Suddenly a quiet voice appeared in
his head. 'You're a hunka burnin'
love' it spoke. "Its
now or never" it continued..
Spud felt compelled to follow the King's words.
The tuber immediately left Graceland and drove to the Gibson guitar factory in downtown Memphis to have a custom Les Paul made. It was quite a challenge given Spud's small and hard rubber hands.
With axe in hand, the potato headed to nearby Beale st and begin busking on the street corner, performing rockabilly versions of Iron Maiden songs.
Soon, a crowd formed, drawing the attention of a recording engineer from Sun studios - the same studio where Elvis first recorded in the early 1950s.
Taking a break between sets, the Engineer approached Spud and said he wanted to record the side dish. The two arranged to meet later that night at the famous studio.
As you know from Spud's
past, the tuber was a natural when in
front of the microphone.
Within hours the news leaked out about the sensational carbohydrate and his breakthrough recordings. Soon music companies were fighting to sign the tune-filled tuber. After a bidding war for Spud's signature on a contract, the tuber finally signed and his debut gig was scheduled. Spud would not cut his teeth in some tiny house band playing behind chicken wire. No, he would debut at the top: Nashville's Music Mecca. the Temple of Tuneage: The Grand Ole Opry.
A limousine whisked the tuber to the stage door. Bodyguards fought back the hordes of groupies eager to catch a glimpse of this new sensation. The tato was ushered briskly to his dressing room where at last he could catch his breath
Success was coming fast and furious, much like it did to Elvis. Spud paused for reflection to remember how success and great fortune affected the King and perhaps what future lay ahead for the tater:
The tato shrieked
at the thought of following the same path. Just like that, Spud put his
guitar in its case and slipped out the back of the Opry. The limelight
was not for him.