This will be the last of the long, cold Canadian winters for this potato

After spending 19 years of winters in the Great White North of Canada, Spud decided in September of 2004 to seek out warmer climes in the Sonoran desert of Arizona, USA.

To prepare for his move, Spud had a mammoth garage sale where he was happy to unload his lawn mower, snow shovel, leaf rake and water sprinkler to his neighbours. Even though he managed to sell a lot of his belongings, he still didn't have enough room in his vehicles to haul all of his stuff across the border.

To resolve the setback, he went out and bought a new pickup truck with his royalties from the Toy Story films. He threw all his clothes and appendages into the truck bed and pulled onto the 401, leaving Toronto in his wake, almost 10 years to the day when he had first arrived in Ontario.

Unfortunately, Spud's attempt to cross the border didn't quite go as planned. As he pulled up to US Customs, the border official took one look at the pile of body parts Spud was carrying and alerted a swarm of agents to surround the vehicle. The potato was pulled from the truck and wrestled to the ground. The posse slapped handcuffs on the 'tato and hauled him into a dimly lit interrogation room.

An agent from the Department of Homeland Security burst into the room and demanded to see Spud's Passport. The tater obligingly produced his paperwork which the man reviewed and then disappeared from the room.

Hours later, the man returned along with a representative from the U.S. Department of Agriculture and two armed guards. The man informed Spud that he was under arrest for illegal importation of tuberous food products and for possession of body parts for the purpose of trafficking.

Due to heightened security measures in the U.S., the tater was not given a trial, but was instead taken directly to a Federal Prison in Alderson, West Virginia to serve an 18 year sentence.

When things were looking like they just couldn't get any worse, Spud learned that his cell mate was none other than domestic diva Martha Stewart. Fearing that he was going to wind up being peeled or mashed in the middle of the night, Spud slept with an extra set of eyes clutched in his left hand to keep watch over his fellow inmate.

Fortunately, the mop-topped heroine of homemaking did not have access to anything sharp, so she managed to keep her distance from the terrified tater. Over the weeks that followed, the two became close and by December, Stewart had showed Spud how to make birdhouses out of license plates.

Spud puts down fresh roots in his new homeBorrowing some cash from his new found friend, Spud was able to hire attorney Johnnie Cochrane to take his case and file his appeal. Hiring Cochrane wound up proving to be a wise investment as within days, an envelope of polaroids of the judge in compromising positions showed up at the Courthouse chambers. Shortly thereafter, Spud's conviction was overturned and the potato was set free.

After reclaiming his truck and appendages, Spud was relieved to be able to change his teeth after four months with the same set. The tater then jumped into his pickup and roared onto the Interstate en route to the Valley of the Sun.

When Spud arrived in Arizona, he was drawn to the land near the Superstition Mountains which he had visited years before. Although the soil tended to be predominantly clay in the area, the tater found a nice patch of fertile red earth surrounded by the awesome desert landscape at the foot of the mountains.

The potato dug himself a hole and snuggled in for a rest. It had been a long time since he began his journey South, but now he was finally home.




Back to Spud's Story

Touring Ontario
White Water Rafting
The Molson Indy
Spud enlists to fight in the war on terrorism
The Rolling Stones at SPUD STOCK

Spud visits Cottage Country

Show me more travels!